Baby are you down..down...down...down~~

Lately i have been rather down. I don't know why. There's a lot i'm dissatisfied with. i feel ashamed to complain outwardly because who wants to listen to your complains?? I hate listening to people complain. So i complained inwardly. I become rude to people close to me whom I feel I'm compromising with. I felt sold out. No more to give. Occasionally i wake up feeling nauseous and reluctant to get out of bed. I wonder what's wrong with me. What happened to my spirit? My dreams. I know I am lost somewhere.

I am the youth of the instant gratification generation. I take things for granted. I wish to be rewarded for my hard work quickly. I lack empathy. The truth is I dream, but i let it go. Caught up in the busy-ness of the days. the wants that i presumed were needs. It makes me feel a little lost. What is life now? Without a dream, without a goal?

Pray to God to let me pull through this phase. I know i will come back to being the cheerful, passionate about life Suz. I just need to sort through some mess. just a little more to wallow and.............complain.

What else is there in life?

It is so lonely to be sitting alone in the room wondering to ownself. What else can i do? What else to do with life? what else can give me eternal happiness?

i miss the circle of friends i used to have while studying. i think i'm just the kind of person that needs a lot of people around her. And, i don't mean colleagues. I try not to get close with them as i do not want to be entangled in office politics. Right now, i don't really have any close friends with me. The one i have now seems rather unreliable. Have to make a lot of compromise to have her as my friend. Can't even have her behaving like a proper friend. I miss my good friend Devebra in Sarawak. She has been very close to me. and i shared a lot with her. I miss her dearly. so so much. Yes, we use to fight and etc but she gave me so much support. Fuh~~ i miss dev2..

wishlist

It's already 7th October 2010..
there's not much time left till the end of this year....

I'm grateful to God for all the exciting things that have happened so far...
Here's my wishlist for the rest of the year..
Watch me come back n slash one by one!!

1. A mini vacation wif nanas busy year for him............. maybe next yr!!
2. dressing upstylishly! i'd say im more adventurous dis yr.. ok, more2!!
3. Photoshoot  with Pune and Nanas
4. Photoshoot with Paan and Nanas
5. Selling items on internet arrr................
6. Refashion more items stil lotsa unfinished projects....focus suz focus!
7. Continuous education
8. Earn rm 4-5k per month
9. give mom rm 500 per month. hurm~
10. Penang Bridge International Marathon
11. workout at least once every week    I'm doing this in preparation for PBIM. 

apa yang hang mau??

there must have been more. than wanting more.

i have everything now.

Life is not the most perfect thing in the world. 

i know

but, why do i feel in need

wanting something. 

there's a void in me

like a black hole

yearning 

to capture every ray of light that passes by. 

I am not perfect

i know. 

but it should be enough. 

what needs to be filled?

what needs to be done?

what do i need to have

who do i have to be.

how come it's not enough? 

can i have something that will completely fill me

never leave me?

if there is then tell me what it is.

i need to know

roses are red, metals are cool.

How can you brighten up a lovely denim tube dress..? (a tad too boring on its own)

I say...Studded Felt Bib Necklace!!

                     
Or, shall we try the multipurpose brooch?

  

I'm liking the bright crimson red. Sure to add a dose of quirkiness to a plain dress!!

Oh, no that's no serious acne. It was just an unmade face.