I learn a lot about myself in a day.

I met your parents today. Your mom is really pretty. She is smiling and looked at me with friendly eyes. I feel that she is sincere. Your dad is standing straight. Signs of aging have shown but he is holding his composure as hard as he is holding his passing youth. Perhaps, he is still young at heart but like I said, signs of aging is showing. I can see where you get your good looks from.From your mom. I can see where you got your sweet tongue from. From your dad. I am sure.
    I tried to make small talk but it sounded so awkward. We tried to read each others body language but it was so stiff, all we read was discomfort. I feel a wall creeping over my facade. I want to run. What if we don't make it? I am not ready. Looking at your family. And the absence of mine a year ago, I can't help but feel how different our lives are. I will go into yours. It seemed like what I wanted. But I am scared. I am not too strong and this is how I protect myself. Will you understand, I am unable to open up so easily.
     It's already difficult like this and we have other obstacles too. Will we make it? I don't have the answers. I can't read mind or the future. I know you'll say I think too much. But that's what I saw when I look at your parents. Our possibilities and I am scared. Shit.

Dearest God, please give me the strength, guidance and wisdom.